Falling! My First Base

Sunday... The last time i said it i'll never be falling in love again. It's a weakness. You fall and let the guy hurt you. Often, it would not be his fault but yours. But who am i kidding? Just this moment, i can see the sparkle back in my eyes again as i look in the mirror. My cousin has noticed i've been humming love songs i sworn wayback i would no longer think about, and i have been eager giving unsolicited advice to my friend who is too skeptical to accept the proposal from a guy he likes so much. Why all these? Because i'm falling in love AGAIN? Oh come on. AGAIN does not fit. In the first place, the experience i had was but a serious joke. So is this falling in love the first base? GIFFY. Gesh, I'm Falling For You. Right. I told him that and what i caught was a safe answer. Neither confirming or refusing if he would throw the feeling back. Somehow, it left me happy because at last he knew. But also sad because he made me hopeful for something i'm not certain i could grasp, ever. Whew. Good Lord, he's playing hard to get. And if things didn't run according to what i expect would, then maybe i'll try my next strike for the home run .......

Love.?...!,

Love.?...!, Love. A word so sacred yet often abused. Love? Can you spell it out for me? Love...it could have passed my way...or have not..or never... Love! Nonsense! Love, insofar as im concerned, has not been very favorable to me. Go get someone else to hit and break just what you did to me. =(

Tears for Tonight

Friday, January 30, 2004 im feeling a bit bitter still after everything. i have tried to drive you outta my head and quite ambitious to finally discard you in my life's storybook but i can't. how can i when i could associate you with almost everything that would strike my daily struggles at work, at home, in the television, etc.? it was very easy for you to say GOODBYE i did not have the time to bid back. but why do i feel this way? it's crazy. sigh. nice girls get hurt. i was hurt. i am still. but you don't care right? anyhow, i think i deserve this..because i allowed you to hurt me...and it will be too late to take it back. i'll just drown myself to tears tonight. i feel so sorry for myself. so sorry. sob.