What MEN and LOVE are

I would like to quote myself... "MEN are like wastes. While you may recycle some, they always deserve to be DUMPED!" "MEN are like television commercials. They tend to exaggerate things but we (women) don't have to believe them." "I think MEN are God's welcomed mistake (sorry po). Maybe that was why He decided to create a WOMAN and stopped at that, sat back and realized..'She is my masterpiece!'" "REAL LOVE is impossible with humans but where there is a lack of it, God fits in and provides." So there. Not that i am a genderist... well, i really am and is proud to be... just because!

ANG TRAFFIC, ULAN AT IKAW

Pwede ko na sigurong iguhit ang mga mukha na kaharap ko. Bukod sa matagal ko nang natitigan ang bawat anggulo nila ay bilang na bilang din kasi ang kilos na ipinamamalas nila sa tagal ng pagkakaupo namin sa loob ng dyip na ito. Napabulalas na ng BWISIT sabay hagod sa batok ang katabi ko nang may lumapit na pulis sa tsuper. Hinihingan ng lisensya, bagay na lalo pang nagpatagal sa takbo ng byahe namin. Ang isa pa, nagkasya na lamang sa lambitin ng kamay na nagsilbing unan habang nahihimbing sa sandaling hindi pa napaparoon sa bababaan. Makailang tsk-tsk na ang ginang na mukhang hindi pa nakapagluluto ng ihahain sa hapag-kainan ng mag-anak. Himbing pa ang iba. Marahil ay batid nilang oras pa ang aabutin bago pa man din kami makausad at makalagpas sa tulay na ito. Ang trapik! Inaasahan kong pag-uwi ko ay bihis at deretso higa na ang gagawin ko. Hay. Nakakainip angtrapik. Nakakabugnot. Nakakabuwisit. Nakakapanggigil ng laman. Wala akong mahagilap na traffic enforcer sa daan. Madami-dami na ang naglalakad - mga taong kung hindi nabuwisit ay ayaw mabuwisit sa pagkakaipit sa trapik. Ako, yumukod upang sumambit ng munting dasal. Nais ko ng madali ang byahe ko pauwi at mayakap ng tuluyan ang napakalambot kong mga unan. Nais ko ng makapagpahinga sa aking TAHANAN. At habang tinatahak ko pa ang daan pauwi, ikaw ang napagsisino ko sa aking isipan. Nangingiti ako. Nagmumukha tuloy akong tanga habang umuukit muli ang sandaling kapiling KITA minsang ako'y pauwi rin. Sa lamig na dulot ng panahon noon (at gaya ngayon) - o hindi kaya ng aircon ng sasakyan? - malaking ginhawa na may halong kilig ang hawakan mo ng mahigpit ang aking mga kamay. Hindi ko mawari kung ano ang gagawin ko nang hagurin mo ang aking likod at tuluyang yakapin. Ang maimpis mong mga labi na walang pasubaling sa batok ko'y dumadampi, hindi ko maitatangging iyo'y natatangi. Sabi mo pa nga, "Sabihin mo kung hindi OK sa'yo, tatanggalin ko." Hangal akong magsasabing HINDI dahil matatamis ang mga sandaling iyon. Tumitigil ang mundo ko sa pag-inog sa tuwing pinupupog mo ng mumunti mong mga halik ang aking kaliwang palad. Gusto kong mawalan ng ulirat at magpakulong sa iyong mga bisig. Gusto kong manatili sa tabi mo. Ayoko ng lumipas ang sandaling ito. Nalalapit na ang aking pamamaalam. Sa pag-ibis ko, nais kong ipaalam na babaunin ko ang alaala ng karampot na sandaling pinagsaluhan natin sa sasakyan. Sa kabila ng pangambang nadarama ko dahil magkakalayo tayong muli, namumutawi pa rin ang ngiti sa aking labi. Ito ang ngiting tanda ng aking pasasalamat. Umaasa akong hindi ito ang huli. Patuloy akong mananabik sa muli nating pagkikita. Nais kong ikaw ang maging aking tahanang babalikan - ikaw na syang matiyagang maghihintay sa aking pagdating sa tuwing bumubuhos ang ulan at malamig ang panahon. Ano mang landas ang tahakin ko at matagalan man ang pag-usad ng byahe ko, wala akong pag-aalala dahil alam kong ikaw ang sadya ko. Ikaw lamang. Salamat at ipinadama mo ang kakaibang damdaming ito. Hanggang sa muli. "Ma, para! Pakitabi lang po!"

Falling! My First Base

Sunday... The last time i said it i'll never be falling in love again. It's a weakness. You fall and let the guy hurt you. Often, it would not be his fault but yours. But who am i kidding? Just this moment, i can see the sparkle back in my eyes again as i look in the mirror. My cousin has noticed i've been humming love songs i sworn wayback i would no longer think about, and i have been eager giving unsolicited advice to my friend who is too skeptical to accept the proposal from a guy he likes so much. Why all these? Because i'm falling in love AGAIN? Oh come on. AGAIN does not fit. In the first place, the experience i had was but a serious joke. So is this falling in love the first base? GIFFY. Gesh, I'm Falling For You. Right. I told him that and what i caught was a safe answer. Neither confirming or refusing if he would throw the feeling back. Somehow, it left me happy because at last he knew. But also sad because he made me hopeful for something i'm not certain i could grasp, ever. Whew. Good Lord, he's playing hard to get. And if things didn't run according to what i expect would, then maybe i'll try my next strike for the home run .......

Love.?...!,

Love.?...!, Love. A word so sacred yet often abused. Love? Can you spell it out for me? Love...it could have passed my way...or have not..or never... Love! Nonsense! Love, insofar as im concerned, has not been very favorable to me. Go get someone else to hit and break just what you did to me. =(

Tears for Tonight

Friday, January 30, 2004 im feeling a bit bitter still after everything. i have tried to drive you outta my head and quite ambitious to finally discard you in my life's storybook but i can't. how can i when i could associate you with almost everything that would strike my daily struggles at work, at home, in the television, etc.? it was very easy for you to say GOODBYE i did not have the time to bid back. but why do i feel this way? it's crazy. sigh. nice girls get hurt. i was hurt. i am still. but you don't care right? anyhow, i think i deserve this..because i allowed you to hurt me...and it will be too late to take it back. i'll just drown myself to tears tonight. i feel so sorry for myself. so sorry. sob.