Jupiter CAN Align with Venus

The sky is a happy mystery for me. It was that one Monday night of December (December 2, to be exact) when I gazed up and saw three outstanding bright objects staring back at me. I was certain the moon was the lowest object in a crescent shape; the two others I simply considered unusually bright stars. They all form one noticeable figure: a smiling face. Something, somewhere up there must be playing with magic to bring these three objects together. It made me smile back to the heavens. Just as when I was wishing someone could share my skygazing moment, there it appeared on TV the newsflash informing its televiewers about the amazing formation and how it came to be. The two objects up above the moon, which I mistook as unusually bright stars, were Jupiter and Venus. There occured a conjunction, or simply put, an alignment of the planets! Spare me the trouble of explaining science like this. It gives me the creeps. Wonder why I discuss the alignment of Jupiter and Venus here? I drew a meaningful analogy of the phenomenon with how difficult it is for the male species to understand (or empathize?) with their counterpart: the great, indispensable bunch of Eves -- us females. Put it this way: Jupiter will represent the good ol' boys, and Venus will represent beauty and love which pertains to, needless to say, girls. And now the analogy: it does not happen so often that Jupiter aligns with Venus in the same way that the dogs, I mean, the guys do not often (or not at all) understand us girls. Well, well. Girls will always be girls in the same way that boys will be boys. But I would like to share with you something I copied from my Friendster bulletin. I could not state its original source anymore. I believe it has been reposted so many times until the author's name was buried under. It made me smile again. This is a serious attempt to understand female mannerisms. I give it a two-thumbs-up approval! Consider this guys. Then maybe -- just maybe, you will regard it as the most innovative solution to understanding the , what was that again, oh - bitch.

When a girl walks away from you - [Follow her] When she stares at your lips - [Kiss her] When she pushes you or hits you - [Grab her and don’t let go] When she starts cursing at you - [Kiss her and tell her you love her] When she's quiet - [Ask her what’s wrong] When she ignores you - [Give her your attention] When she pulls away - [Pull her back] When you see her at her worst - [Tell her she's beautiful] When you see her start crying - [Just hold her and don’t say a word] When you see her walking - [Sneak up and hug her waist from behind] When she's scared - [Protect her] When she lays her head on your shoulder - [Tilt her head up and kiss her] When she steals your favorite hat - [Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night] When she teases you - [Tease her back and make her laugh] When she doesn’t answer for a long time - [reassure her that everything is okay] When she looks at you with doubt - [Back yourself up with the TRUTH] When she say's that she likes you - [she really does more than you could understand] When she grabs at your hands - [Hold hers and play with her fingers] When she bumps into you - [bump into her back and make her laugh] When she tells you a secret - [keep it safe and untold] When she looks at you in your eyes - [don’t look away until she does] WHEN SHE MISSES YOU - [SHES HURTING INSIDE] When you break her heart - [the pain NEVER really goes away] When she says its over - [she STILL wants you to be hers] - Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything - DON'T let her have the last word - NEVER call her hot! Pretty and beautiful is sooooo much better - Say you love her more than she could ever love you - Argue that she is the best girl ever - When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go - When she says she's ok, don’t believe it, talk to her - When she says she's sorry, she truly means it - Because 10 yrs later she'll remember you - Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her - Call her before you sleep and after you wake up - Treat her like she's all that matters to you - Tease her and let her tease you back - Stay up all night with her when she's sick - Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid - Give her the world - Let her wear your clothes - When she's bored and sad, hang out with her - Let her know she's important - Kiss her in the pouring rain - When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;"Who's ass am I kicking today baby?"

Sweet compilation. Sweet, but girls can't have them all. Impossible. Hahaha.

Defying Normz

Just thinking about how I would entitle my blog entry makes me snigger. And I could imagine the person who is the very core reason why I am writing this making a face now. If he could still manage to smile, that would be an indication of defeat -- like he can still do something to avert my decisive writing. Lawsuit? Hah! Hopeless. You need not worry at all. I mean no harm. Exploitation of another person's character is not my kind of game. Relax. There's more to the experience of reading this than your precursory restlessness.

*****

Five years back, I came upon a thin and tan teenager. Good-natured at first sight and coy like a puppy most of the time. I was freshly out of college and career was far from my mind then. It was summer! I was having a terrific time mingling with my fellow youth, and yes, kids I would consider my little brothers, should they permit. Norman Paul, or Normz -- for the sake of sounding hip maybe, was one of these select kids around I instantly grew fond of. And like I have a choice, he was part of the group I came to share with my frustrations and negativities about my life. He was one of the few I get to shed a tear and blow my nose with, all heart out and no pretense. I was glad to have known him too then -- a minor seminarian on the loose. But he was more to me (as his other peers appeared to be) like someone kidnapped and dragged to the camp; only that the kidnappers realized too late he was not someone ransom-able so they left them there. Poor kids. Amazingly and gratefully, the acquaintance did not end at the Surip camp. Barely a month after, I crossed paths with him (and the others too) again at another camp. And even if there was an extra baggage to our meeting the first time and the next (I meant his brother), the joy of seeing him every time was like seeing women eager to share gossips. No, he is not a gossiper. But I could be at ease around him. Be myself, so to speak. With his presence, jumping like a kid was never too hard when I get thrilled. It gets more thrilling. (Hahaha.) Most of all, the best thing about establishing my friendship with him (and all the others) is the opportunity to be an 'ate' to him (them). A dream come true.

I think to this point that playing the role of a [surrogate] 'ate' to Normz (and all the others) is all-perks to me. Even if it means having to disagree with his point of views most of the time. It doesn't really matter. It helps to have someone I think has marred perspective about certain things -- like love (ulk, I'm throwing up), and who thinks similarly that I have clouded principles too. And that makes us both, hmmm, stupid. We can only laugh at ourselves.

He maybe an epitome of the typical seminarian these days: prayerful, still good-natured, cool, calm and collected. (Let me add a note to that: with Father Rector and the pack of priests around.) But just like a typical seminarian, and a natural human (half moon, half man?) not withstanding, he has his adventures too. Need I mention them? I don't think so. Just by the thought of doing that paints a hilarious picture of Normz' fuming ears. I have more than one of defying ways than writing about him like this.

Still with a snigger, I would close this entry grateful that no matter the distance, no matter the conflicting standpoints, I would keep you as a brother Normz. I heart you much Bebi Bro (and so to the others too)!

Mav-elous Christmas Shopping

It's not everyday that you can tag an old friend to go shopping with you -- especially with me, a very picky, meticulous and often return-this-to-the-rack type of consumer. Blame that to the natural insatiable wants of consumers, a fact normally stressed in my Economics class. I've lived with that fact, much to the making of myself as a difficult (or irrate when I'm in the mood) customer. And gahd, cashiers I've dealt with may want to attend stress management classes more than a seminar on managing dissatisfaction and conflict! Hehehe. I'm not really that bad. I was just kidding. But the minute I uttered a word of dissatisfaction, my brother, for example, would ease his way far from me, as if telling anyone who has seen him with me "No, I'm not with that freak." It's an exercise of my consumer rights (as if I know that by heart)! But hey, I could be aware sometimes (goodluck with the frequency) of going overboard at the counter, and still could manage to smile with my ears fuming and my left brow raised. Patience is (and will stay) a virtue. Enough with my crappy consumption-driven life. I'm seeing my former colleague after office! I'm talking about Mav (variable: Mab - to help the stubborn Starbucks personnel deliver her coffee to the right person), whose friendship with me is beyond her resignation from EITSC. Inspite of her enjoying a life of IAR like my MDG, she still manages to send me SMS, email me spam mails (or is it me?) and drop by the office to catch up with the old times over a cup of coffee and a slice of cake (I can see a repeat here.) But the catching up doesn't end there! She said yes to my invite for a precedented walk-till-you-drop kind of shopping, without second thoughts. My heart is ecstatic! Woohooo!!!

To Mav, super thanks for not giving me a difficult time to persuade you into this. Drama! But for reals, thinking of buying at least 36 presents for my 36 (listed) godkids would be easier with you I guess. If we don't end up buying something for them, at least this is the chance I'd love to spend with you! I could not let the opportunity pass without juicing out something from you! Next to my shopping agenda with you is hearing you share about your boom-de-ya-da stories. Hahaha. Spread the love! Let's tackle and tickle! By the way, I'm wearing our twin costume. It is not part of my plan but I'm happy I did. See you later!

Sugar High!

I have had too much sugar today so I am sweet all over. Eat me! Hahahah. Thanks to Lala's post-birthday treat, I had my slice of her mischievous Chocolate Marjolaine with Coke 500 after a plateful (of 2-cupped rice and meat-veggie combo) lunch! A carbo-filled and sugar-y one-hour lunchbreak made me feel like I could last the rest of the day jumping on a trampoline with so much energy! Lala, my colleague and a newbie mom, just returned to the office after her maternity leave. She's actually entitled to a longer leave but being the exemplary employee that she is, she reported to work today -- a month earlier than expected, to complete the financial books before the year ends. Hooray!!! I would not want to miss out the applause Lala deserves, and for various reasons not limited to: 1.) The birth of her lovely daughter, Lazir Denice. I remember having to be heavily involved of thinking which name she would give her daughter. And thanks for considering my suggestions Lala. (Hahaha from my nose.) I felt incredibly helpful when you decided to just pass on to your daughter your name plus the feminine variable of your husband's name. Huwaw! Did I ever mention you are a creative couple? I hope I did not. :p 2.) Her birthday last December 5. I even SMSed her to remind her to treat us to lunch. And her reply was like gospel to my eyes when it read: "Automatic yun." 3.) Her comeback. Welcome back! I enjoyed listening to your lovely tales about Lady (the daughter, I thought of that nickname!) and still-tolerable ranting (define "in-laws" please.). Your presence just brings a different kind of light in EITSC. 4.) Her efficiency in preparing the payroll. Kudos! Kudos! You deserve a present -- I'll convert that to hugs and kisses -- from me for free! Yuhoo!

Thank you, La! I missed you this much!

*****

And while I thought I already had enough dose of sugar, MDG (my beloved) pinged me a message to comment (yet again) about my Skype status. He is simply SWEET just doing that! My sugar level is creeping up! Argh, I don't even think insulin can help with the likes of him!

Ooops, no, there's only one him like there's only one me. One sweet him, and one crazy me. Nothing in common -- picture a mathematical equation with a slashed equal sign in between. Now I'm bleeding. :( I'm having complications, I could surmise. Someone please blow my crazy ideas away!

Anyhow, MDG -- You. Made. My. Day!

****

My church bestfriend slash cousin is in town! Hmm, it would be another fun night for sure. I'm craving for fish so I'm planning to bring Mac anywhere with fish in the menu. :)

I would have to do away with the sweets after dinner. Besides, I'm bringing MDG's sweet messages to bed tonight for dessert. Hay. I feel so dreamy. Flying kisses!

Most Desirable Guy: Only A Fantasy

I was asked a phone-in question by Anna this morning (10:53 AM to be exact) on how I feel about MDG’s ‘in a relationship’ (IAR) status in Facebook. Fumbling for my thoughtful answer was not really difficult, with Anna being the third person (count in Dom and Ga there) to break the news to me and ask me the same question. I lose the heart to open my own FB account – that would be adding insult to the injury or worse, self-persecution. Of course I feel sad! That’s even an understatement. If there’s an opposite of the cartwheel bliss I’m feeling whenever MDG pops me an instant message, then the IAR news made me feel like I want to be suspended in the air upside-down till I struggle for my hopeless life. Hmm, exaggerated but it did hurt a bit. Just a bit because in the first place, I already eliminated the kiddie ‘hopeful’ feeling like there’s such a person as Santa Claus on Christmas time. That kind of fantasy. And then Anna’s consoling words hit me like fire -- leaving me with a warm and prickly sensation at the same time. I felt warm because her words gave me a flickering hope! But the spiteful truth remains: MDG is IAR already. Anna said that I need not worry about MDG’s IAR status because sometimes things just don’t turn out right. She even added, ‘Who knows? Girlfriend lang naman.’ Haha! Give the guy a chance! He only started his relationship with his girlfriend. And I envy her, an awful lot of envy. But thanks Anna. That was sweet, nevertheless. And if there’s one thing I should prepare for his return this Christmas, I would start with facing him and talking to him properly. That is, if he talks to me at all. I need all the luck I could summon! Oy vey!!! Merry Christmas to me. MDG must be feeling so lucky and happy.

Greetings Galore!

Yipeee! Just so you know, today is my 26th birthday. Yes, some may mistake that age as a pressuring figure but hah, I am still young! I specifically provided this space of my blog for those people, who -- by Friendster's constant reminders, by their incontestable thoughtfulness, by a touch of another coincidental and more significant event in their lives, by obligation or just by gossip -- remembered my special day. (Believe me guys, Friendster is effective! I tried changing my birthdate last year and I received less greetings last year than now. It was funny how people miss out my birthday because Friendster was not able to remind them correctly. Haha!) Okay. So for a start, I wish to list those people who greeted me early on through phonecalls, SMS, instant messaging, personal greetings... and then say my precious thanks beside their well-wishes (like I can avoid the side comments, huh?!). 1. Isang Maligayang Kaarawan (by Queza thru Friendster. 11/21/2008. 1:56 am) Marqueza is a friend from Digos in Davao City. She now resides in the USA with her hubby and the couple is expecting a baby soon! At 1:56 am, I don't think it's a good idea for a mom-to-be to stay awake that late. But she did. Only to greet me. Gesh. And to add to the insult, so they say, here's an additional message she sent me thru SMS when I said my thanks: Ur welcome! Mabuti na ung mas maaga me. Hehehe. Para na din ako nauna naggrit sau. Ingatz! Stay fabulous as ever... (by Queza thru YM-SMS. 11/25/2008. 5:47 am) 2. Happy Birthday Buddy (by Ances thru Friendster. 11/21/2008. 4:52 pm) Ances is a charming lass I met thru my highschool friend Melanie. She has a warm pair of eyes. I could not understand how Melanie can be so mean to her (she admits it anyway) but I'm glad we remained friends! 3. God bless you always with beauty, joy and sunshine. God bless you always with very good thing. God bless you with His special love. Happy Birthday Tita! Wishing you more birthdays to come, good health. Take care always and goodluck on your job and lovelife.. =) God will always bless you with more blessings.. (by Zyra Loise thru Friendster. 11/25/2008. 6:14 pm) That's from my niece. Thanks Zyra. I can see you smiling when you wished me goodluck -- like I really need that now more than ever. Clever you. 4. Happy Birthday (by Yolanda thru Friendster. 11/26/2008. 10:35 am) Straight from Canada. She must have really exerted effort leaving me that message because she is always busy watching teleseryes after a day's work. Wow! Thanks Yolly! Really. 5. Happy Happy Birthday Tin! Wish u all the best and goodluck in all your dreams in life. Have a blessed birthday! (by Edelyne thru Friendster. 11/26/2008. 12:25 pm) I was one of her bridesmaids, if I remember that right. Really sweet of her to drop by my FS account and post the her greetings. 6. Happy birthday din poh... Thanks poh sa pag-greet. God bless :) (by Precious thru Friendster. 11/26/2008. 9:28 pm) I really have no idea who she is but thanks anyway, Precious. 7. A Happy-Happy Birthday to you my Friend..I Pray for you to Have More and I do mean More Birthdays to come and that goes with Lots of Blessings in Everything and of course in Love...Live Life and Love to the Fullest... Why? Our Birthdays says it all... We've always been Loved Even Before our Very First Birthday...God Bless You More... (by Rene aka Rainman thru Friendster. 11/27/2008. 1:59 am) Rene? Did I say 'astig'? Partially visually-impaired and one of the great guys I met from ATRIEV, a computer school for the blind. He can teach! Teaching makes me bow. Thanks Rene! 8. happy b-day....gift ko ?hehehe musta nalang po jan..take care (by Ryan Vir thru Friendster. 11/27/2008. 3:37 am) Oh. Ryan. Yes, thank you for remembering too. He celebrates his birthdate before mine so I would not forgive him if he forgets my birthdate. And whoever your friend is who read my blog and misunderstood what I meant about what we became to be, please tell him/her to leave his/her comments instead. I'd be very glad to explain. :) 9. hi ms. tin :)HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!may all your wishes be granted. stay nice and bubbly. take care always and God bless :) (by Kathrine thru Friendster. 11/27/2008. 8:42 am) 8:42 am??? So could you explain to me why your boss keeps pestering you? You do Friendster during work hours!? Guess that's a bad habit you learn from me. Hahaha. Kathrine, prettylicious. My former student. (To be continued...)

What My Blog Does

If my blog inspires, I would write more like I would inspire myself. (For Patrick) If my blog entertains, I would try my best to write like I am incessantly talking. (For Jhia) If my blog opens doors to my personal being, I would selflessly unfold new things about myself, gladly discover them with you. (For Adonis) If my blog tells you how I have been, I would strive to be truthful, like you're seeing me through a glass. (For Mav) If my blog is keen on what people share, I would thirst for more and share it as well. (For Rannie) If my blog confuses your views, I would not stop you from thinking you are right. (For those who cannot comprehend.)

Wish a Wish!

I will make this really short and easy. Just a breeze. Hahaha. A wishlist? Hmm, I never really thought so hard about it, but yes, it will do me no harm if I make one. Besides, I can see several of my wishes coming true even before I write them down. God is the most brilliant mindreader! And I'm loving how it works. Really, God, I know you never disappoint me. And when I thought you did, it ends up with me realizing I never really thought ahead for the purpose. Peace tayo, God. :) So then again, the wishlist! Hmm, for my approaching birth anniversary, I wish to have any (or all -- am I so greedy?) of the following: 1. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert 2. Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney 3. Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer (I included this in my Christmas Wishlist for the ECCP Christmas Party!) 4. The Christmas Mystery by Jostein Gaarder (Junlee granted this wish! A numerous thanks!!!) 5. Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer I think 5 in the list is enough. Weeeeh!!!

*****

Just as I have made it easy for myself to enlist the things I want for my birthday, I don't want to miss this chance to say thank you, thank you for the overwhelmingly simple (makes sense to me) gestures that my friends have done to me:

1. For Junlee's express-and-without-second-thoughts purchasing of The Christmas Mystery book I just mentioned over YM as a birthday present. That's selfless. :)
2. For Junlee's friend, Taggy, for bringing the book here in the Philippines and for unhesitantly meeting up with me, a barely known lunatic (hahaha). Thanks too for offering me 'just something' from McDo. I'm sorry I have to decline the offer. Not really out of reservation (you really don't know me if you think that was the reason), but moreso because there's more food waiting for me in Dampa i have to save the space in my stomach for that.
3. For Mac's consoling words that I cannot absorb mostly. Blame my stubborness. Why does it seem easy for you to make me cry my heart out? Hahaha. Must be that peak level of friendship. I did feel my eyes dried up after that talk that I thought I can sleep with eyes open. I would not suggest talking to you again at night before bed time. It was not a pretty good idea.
4. For Juan's 4 Santan flowers (not the cluster). I kept them pressed in my wallet with the other (seemingly) insignificant (but unique) inanimate objects the others gave me: a seashell and a cotton piece. That was swee-et. I really wish I have a younger brother like him and my other babies. :)
5. For Ate Vilma and Jermine's attentive ears. They were really into my tales that I could not forget how their faces looked like when I told them something that night of revelation. They were awed. Hahaha. The truth kept them awake for the next several minutes, still awed. But at least, the questioning subsided. Am I a mysterious girl, ladies? Hahaha. You know the answer. Note: I am not gay.

I never wished for things like these, but the simple gestures made them more meaningful than the wishes I wish and expect.

My Kind of Halloween

October 31 I found myself comfortably lying on my bed, with my newly purchased book atop my face, after what seemed to be a 7-hour processional from Manila to Pangasinan. Tell you what, I never hit my target of getting home early despite my haste efforts to disappear from the office premises the moment the clock chimed 12:00 noon. It was a disappointment - my long, inconvenient trip. I was grateful, nevertheless, to reach HOME again. Ah! I always knew home is where the heart is but somehow, I managed to inflict a masochistic case of amnesia on myself some time ago when I thought I already knew where my heart was. I was damn, terribly wrong. Hahaha! I am now making amends. It's the time of the year again when various scary ghost stories resurface like they were especially reserved to be told only now -- just for the thrill of it. And for some reasons, these scary ghost stories become vivid again and again during this time even if you heard of them more than twice before. It was like seeing the Titanic movie (guess how many times I saw it), only with the goosebumps. So I think it is never irrational to believe in ghosts as I do. Not during this time of the year when ghost believers like me come out of the closet like homosexuals at night. I have never seen a single ghost, and would not want to have the heart to come face-to-face with one -- because I don't think my heart would stay in place if I chance at one. Scary. The night is a pitch darker here in the province on a Friday night than in Manila (where my neighbors bore my eyes with lit CFL that could penetrate even the thickest of my curtains all night long). And did I hear the dogs growl? I glanced at the clock. Fifteen minutes past eleven. Hmm, not bad. I'm nearly cutting half the thickness of this book I'm engrossed reading. A while ago, somebody SMSed me and I responded very briefly to tell him I'm reading so if I may just text him the following morning. He did not seem to understand and asked impatiently what the book was. I declared the title: TWILIGHT. (I can see some eyes ogling. Hahaha!) He just said, "Hmp," and I think I interpreted it as "Fine." And I reclaimed my oh-so-precious time for reading. The book, yes. How timely. A night that is transitioning to midnight with growling dogs in the background and I, the crow in the fields that is easily scared away, am reading a novel on VAMPIRES. At one point it hit me, 'Am I reading this book in the right place at the right time?' Not that I was thinking any vampire would lurk in Brgy. Magtaking (Please, please don't make a vampire read my blog.), but yes, my brain did process the thought. The windows in my room are tightly closed, I'm certain. But vampires can penetrate walls, I theorized. It was a struggle having to opt to put the book down and retire or continue my close-to-climax reading and disregard time. Hours ago, I had this rare condition when my heart and mind agreed on one thing: start reading the book. And now it's fading away, it's breaking my heart (like the last time. Hahaha!). I can't get enough of the characters. I wanted to pursue reading but my mind is telling me I should take a rest -- like the 7-hour trip was not enough reason to. I gave up the desire of my heart and listened to my mind. It is, most of the time, right and beneficial. I clicked off the lights and hurried to my bed, forcibly closing my eyes. Two-folds: to encourage myself to sleep and avoid seeing unnecessary things at the foot of my bed. Nyay. No more vampire thoughts, I urged myself. I switched to pleasant thoughts like church service in the morning. That sedated me and lulled me to sleep. November 1 Ugh. I can hear the rooster's morning cry. I have always thought it has difficulty getting up in the morning too that it has to shriek like that. It must be hard being a rooster. But thanks to it, I was reminded to get up early without using my 'very reliable' phone. Humor me. I glanced at my phone. Whoa. It has its funny times. Reminder: Sarene's Birthday. Great. Only the sad fact that I was not reminded to get her number. So I blew my greetings out with my morning breath. Ewww. "Happy Birthday cutee Sarene. Stay, uhmm, a baby." In 30 minutes' time, I was up and ready to go. It is drizzling outside and I suddenly miss my book still beside my pillow. If it is made of magnet, I really don't know. But the next 10 minutes I was busy reading it again until my mother called out that I'm going to be late for the Mass if I didn't leave at once. I obliged, with the thought of having her responsible for raising a bookish daughter. I left home and made it just in time before the 2nd Mass. I was even able to sell candles and help in the enlisting of those requesting (was that the term?) for petition mass. I just hope they won't run short. Hahaha! My cashiering skill is levelling low with too many people asking for change, scissors, pen, paper, candles, and my name (?)! Regie came to rescue me when the Mass was about to start. I washed my hand quickly. After the Mass, we went straight to Salasa cemetery. I bought five white long candles with the Our Lady of Manaoag sticker. I lighted three for my grandfather, grandmother, and 2 uncles (there were four of them in three graves) and the other two I lighted for two other distant relatives. Hours or so of lingering in the cemetery made me realize two things: that I only get to visit the graves at this time of the year and I'm afraid my loved ones would do the same thing to me if I was gone. Sad. Really. So my prayer for my dead loved ones goes with an apology and a promise of some sort that I will try to visit their graves more than once if I could. (But of course I could.) In the afternoon, I did the same thing for my grandfather and uncle-in-law whose graves are in the Lingayen cemetery. I also dropped by Richard Valiant's and oh, how I so miss the guy. :( Come night, we had a drinking session at Boc's place. I don't drink. I just sing. So I had the microphone all by myself. Hahaha. November 2 Sunday service! Plus, Fr. Boc is blessing the November birthday celebrants so I want to count myself in. Who would not want to be blessed? I don't want to run late attending the Mass. Goal! Trick or treat is not our kind of thing so the Youth Ministry ates and kuyas gathered together with Fr. Boc for Round 2 of the same session last night. And there was singing too! I can't let the mic go! But Fr. Boc had a chance with it. And so did Regie, Mac, Joepearl (fun to duet with), Boc, and Johannes a.k.a. Juan (who by the way had the most number of thrilled fans). The drinking and singing meant so much to me but nothing beats the company they share with you even without words. Kampay is enough for an assuring gesture, I guess. I would want to do away with the tears for the night but I could not help myself. With them, it's okay to pour out my heart, something I missed the most! Even the spookiest experience I had in the past does not make them think less of me. Sometimes I think they know me better than I do with myself.

So we separated ways at around 11 p.m. I feel so grateful to have this kind of Halloween this year. No more fears. No more ghosts of the past. No more worrying of sickening people that seem to haunt me every now and then. There's more to my life than miserably saving my ass out of a nonsense (said Mac), non-existing pit I jumped into, a grave that never was there. I'm alive! And very much enjoying TWILIGHT! It's already 1 a.m. of November 3 and I'm not going back to Manila yet! (Hahahaha. Addicted!)

Surrender Means No Defeat

The white flag, almost dilapidated and mirroring what were to be called enduring times of an optimistic love, has been raised. He has finally given up on the woman with 'a heart of stone.' Unanswered letters, cold shoulders and bleak eyes -- whether long distance or face-to-face, no amount of these have disheartened this lad in believing that that love he once had he would someday soon recover. But that box of dark chocolates returned to his sister was enough sign for him to surrender. I saw it coming earlier, but did not have the brave spirit to warn him. And though what I saw coming was the same reason why we became really tight friends, my fear of seeing him hurt the way I did is just unbearable, I kept my silence. When he told me "It's over," it was no surprise. He surrendered but is definitely not defeated. Acceptance is the key. Immediately, he sounded like he was on his feet again -- ready to take on another battle. I would never know his gameplan, but I am happy with the way things turned out for my friend. Happy and also envious. I wish I coped up easily like him. But that's another story. A wedding for next year is not a bad idea. Neither is an invitation sent to a bridesmaid enclosed with a ticket to London, right? So maybe then I will see you and your bride.

Jhia Turns 26

Today. It is not as though she's having her debut or her natal anniversary ends in 0 or 5 that I have to write something about her. Nor is it for the lack of blog topics to think about that I have to exert this effort. Merely for celebration purposes, I guess -- of another hopeful year and of friendship. Add to that the fact that I do not have a present to give her (because I am still waiting for Junlee's chocolates from London. By request, I'd gladly exchange my dark chocolates for whatever Jhia has in the package. Am I not so sweet?) And yes, I just love reminiscing about the past, a sign of old age.

It was year 1998 when my 4th year high school class was having the time of it's life being a good representation of the jerky adoloscent population. My classmates were young and in between (You know, like what's in between ugly and pretty, naughty and nice? I guess you could understand what I am talking about here because the adoloscent period is a transition phase, right?) But where does Jhia come into the picture? The schoolyear was nearing it's half period when our Adviser (Mrs. Theresa V. Vila) informed the class that a transferee from down south of the Philippines is coming to join us. I have a few questions then running in my mind (I am a silent type of person. Bah!). Nevertheless, the announcement prompted murmurs among my classmates. For the boys, simple: 'Is she pretty and sexy?' (Maniacs!) For the girls, 'Will she join our peer group?' (Obviously, factions do exist even in a class of 27!). And here's the funny part, her arrival suggested 'threat' to the A-students (including moi) because our Adviser emphasized this: "She's a DaMath champion."

Jhia Belle Fabio. Was she an embodiment of all our expectations? Wrong! She was more than that. (Ayan naman! Sweetness!) There is no point arguing that Jhia is pretty and PRETTY (ok?). She did not have difficulties mingling with the class despite the differences. She just 'clicked' with us. And about the 'threat', she's a bomb! (Hahaha.)

There was one vivid instance when Jhia was asked by Mr. Cesar P. Jacoba to read a portion of the book of World History by Sonia Zaide (I have a fantastic memory!). Jhia pronounced 'church' as chorch and I could not help myself laughing. I thought that was hilarious. I was mistaken. I have my times too when I mispronounced words. Jhia taught me one thing: She's human and I am too. A beautiful human at that. (So vain!)

Even if Jhia and I only shared a few months (shorter than the period I shared with my other classmates), we have eventful times. She was instrumental to the ceasefire between me and Ryan because of the 'Never Ever' lyrics. Her ref cake was the best dessert prepared in our THE class (under Ms. Jocelyn Sarzaba). We spent delightful afternoons in her house after class and unbeknownst to her, I goggled pleasurably at Kurt (her younger brother and ONE of my high school crushES). Even after high school, Jhia did not cease to intrigue me with 'relationship issues' I never saw coming (I love you Val! May he rest in peace.). We once had dinner with Dharold a night before her CPA board exams but we were deprived the opportunity to spend even a single dinner with Mhel when she was home. One time I was only replying to a probing email from a BPI HR officer about her, and then another moment she's already tracing a career path in Bangladesh. I won't be surprised anymore if by next year, I am holding a wedding invitation for me from her or vice versa! Hahaha.

Well, that is Jhia, CPA. Having survived a quarter of a century, she can already manage living on her own or with a lucky someone. She's a woman of substance, you bet. Composed and witty. Sporty. Pretty, and then again, pretty. No wonder you should always affix that CPA in your name: Composed, Pretty, Achiever.

Happy birthday Jhia! Cheers to our friendship! I'm sorry I did not get you anything special today. :(

This is her and me (during the 30th Anniversary of ECCP).

Ayagi!

The title of my entry is not a Japanese word (the least I know but I cannot be too certain) although it may most likely sound like one. In fact, it is a contracted term (Pangasinense linguist, correct me if I'm wrong) for "Ay agi!' which means "Oh brother!/ Oh sister!" This is often used to express utter disbelief, bewilderment, agitation, excitement, and yes, even horror. There is more meaning to this term depending, of course, on how a person would say it. But there's one unique person I could unhesitatingly identify who he is through his manner of saying "Ayagi!" His has a prolonged emphasis on the last syllable that I could picture him like a child exclaiming Jollibeeeeeee with excitement. Hahaha. He has the style. Nothing compares. And when I heard him again exclaiming "Ayageeeeeeee!" on the other line last August 7, 2008 at 3:45 p.m., my heart leaped with joy. I knew right then it was him. Apparently, his expression was brought about the excitement (not horror) of hearing me say hello again after several years of no [verbal] communication. He must have missed my sweet voice (no joke, it's a gift, hehehe) to take the trouble for an overseas call. "Adonis? Bakla!" was everything I could say when he said "Ayagi!" No offense meant, it's given. In fact, I am so damn proud to have him in my life. He's a precious friend and I'd rather have a bunch of him than domesticate the real-men-but-bunnies type. You know, playboys. Hahaha. I was really thrilled to hear from him. And funny but thanks to my blogsite because he got my number from one of my entries where I was begging for donations for our local school. He even apologized for that, I mean, making the call not for the donation but to check out on me. We talked about guys from the past -- his and maybe mine and sometimes we cannot distinguish who's whose. Hahaha. Could you believe it? I need not mention who those are because I think (I'm crossing my fingers) they already have their peaceful (ulk) married lives. We (Adonis and I) could not afford to be homewreckers unless coerced. Just playing. He got my IM ID. He has to rest, this workaholic gay, so we have to cut the overseas call short. He said he will catch up with me soon and I am looking forward to it. Sometime soon, I know, a message will pop up on my screen, and if message windows could shout, I'd only hear Adonis say "Ayagi!" I miss him sorely. :(

A Call to Action: Magtaking Elementary School Needs Your Help

Dear Magtaking Residents/ Alumni of Magtaking Elementary School, As you all know, Pangasinan was hit by typhoon Cosme last May 17, 2008. The province was badly affected. But ‘badly’ is just a subtle way of describing how Cosme left our many kababayans roofless and the whole province without electricity. ‘Badly’ is simply classifying the tears of the Pangasinenses who lost their homes to the whirling winds of Cosme and schoolchildren anticipating for classes to resume. Literally and figuratively speaking, the province was groping in the dark immediately after the storm. The provincial government’s efforts, through the leadership of Gov. Amado Espino, Jr. (no politicking, just appreciation) are commendable for inspiring the Pangasinenses to stand on their feet again. Electricity, which was said to be reinstalled/reactivated after 2 months, took only a matter of 3 weeks to light up the streets and homes of Pangasinan again. Funds were distributed to schools for roofing and reconstruction of buildings so that children can go to school again. The sad fate, however, is that the aid coming from the government is not sufficient to at least fund the roofing of the schools including the Magtaking Elementary School (MES). Pupils of MES whose classrooms were roofless squeeze themselves in the school’s Social Hall. What’s worse, there are more than 2 classes simultaneously conducting their lessons in the hall. Imagine the scenario, 3 to 4 classes overhearing each other’s lessons – if they can still manage to learn given that condition. And when it rains, pupils get wet and soaked because the hall is without walls. Add the inconvenience of mosquitoes prowling about the hall and feasting on the arms and legs of our poor pupils. Imagine that, and get disheartened, if you have the heart. One of these pupils may be your sister/brother, niece/nephew, godson/goddaughter or your neighbor. In this regard, we wish to request for cash donations from Brgy. Magtaking residents and/or alumni of Magtaking Elementary School for the roofing or reconstruction (should it be necessary) of the school classrooms. (The photos are posted below.) Your donation, in whichever amount, will be highly appreciated, especially by these young men and women of our barangay. You may keep in touch with me thru my mobile number +639196177414 or thru email charine82@yahoo.com for your acts of generosity. I will dutifully relay your intentions or donations to my cousin (and the only female Brgy. Kagawad of Magtaking), Mely Valencia-Fernandez for your donation’s receipt. Please forward this to a fellow resident of Magtaking or an alumnus you might know of. Let’s not look farther to find someone we could help. Charity begins at home, they said, and then maybe next in your barangay, our own barangay. Anggapoy makatulong ed sarili tayon barangay no aga sikatayo lan lamang. God bless you a hundredfold! Best regards, (Sgd.) Cristine Charisse V. Fernando Brgy. Magtaking Resident

Reunions and My Foodrama: Part 1

July twelfth. I SMSed my brother early morning to greet him a happy birthday using my mother's mobile phone. It was an effort dragging my carcass out of my bed because I was having that wonderful rainy morning perfect for dawdling. I decided to prepare for my cousin's birthday celebration anyway. The outdoor games I listed will be fun only if a sun dance is performed beforehand. It was raining heavily that morning and there is no way I could tell it would stop if I say so. Hooray! A ruined birthday party is starting to form a picture before my eyes. And I don't think I can bear to see crying kids over spoiled fun. God have mercy.

The rain stopped for a while. Maybe I was not praying really hard because dark, heavy clouds are still lingering lazily above us. We (my mother, my niece and I) arrived just in time for lunch. I, particularly, was given a warm welcome. It has been ages since I last saw those familiar and similar faces (but of course I could still name them). I could not pass through the queue of my not-so-few aunts and uncles without giving them that Filipino gesture of respect (which we grew up doing everytime we see them), the undying mano. And while doing that, I could not help but hear them say things on how I have grown into a lovely (ehem) lady, that I have lost much weight (wagi!), and that I must have been busy with trivial things but visit them (apologies).

My little cousins are so adorable! I could not stop myself from taking photos of them and with them. Well, it runs in the genes, I guess. Being with them makes me feel kid at heart but old in age. Hahaha. I was like a day care teacher in one of the photos I took. Crap.

Just as I thought (and prayed, hehehe), the rains ruined the outdoor games I prepared. I was thinking of storytelling as an alternative but I do not think the kids were in the mood to hear any of my stories. The thought of rotten tomatoes thrown at me is not really a pretty sight so I dismissed that idea and pleased myself watching them open CJ's (the birthday celebrant) gifts while I was munching on my second serving of hotdog-on-stick with marsh mallows. This is one remarkable moment I would not forget. Though a number of my cousins (the older-than-me blokes) were not present, I sigh with satisfaction (and digestion) that I was able to spend a delightful afternoon with my little loved ones. Awwwww. I love you all!



(To be continued)

Gone for the Weekend

I am off to the province again for the weekend. I received a call from my uncle whose son is celebrating his 7th birthday on the 12th. Fantastic. Three people close to my heart will be celebrating their birthday on that day: my cousin CJ, my brother Cleo, and my Uncle Dr. Cres. Here's my take on this: It may be an unwelcomed coincidence but it sure is strategic -- economical celebration altogether. I was tasked to be the party host for CJ's fete. I did not hesitate to accept the assignment. My mind is bubbling F-U-N and I'm missing my cousins so sorely already.

*****

Ask me who I saw at the bus terminal? Let me hear you say "Who?" now, please. It's Ryan! (Do I have to mention who he is?) Jhia will be thrilled to read this.

Flashback. Ryan Vir Estrada Pagdanganan (that is how much I know him) was my highschool classmate slash then-persistent suitor slash almost-BF-but-not-quite slash friend (charing!). What happened between us? It's a long story. Besides, his version of the story might be diffferent from mine. What really matters is we ended up being friends in spite of the fact that he waited all too long and was very disappointed of my decisions. I think there's too much information about him now here.

Since the bus heading to Alaminos/Bolinao is scheduled to leave at 9:00 pm and I do not want to wait that long, I decided to take the bus bound to Lingayen and jump off Tarlac instead. And before I knew it, Ryan is riding the same bus (because he is from Lingayen, idiot me) and I overheard him requesting the ticket lady to place his seat number beside mine. For friendship's sake, I did not object.

It was a casual encounter. Of course, being the gentleman that I knew him to be, he gestured that I sit ahead. And while we shared pep talks initially, I actually asked his permission if I could sleep because I am so tired. I still managed to say that tactfully, same old approach. (Style mo Tinao, bulok!) But I'm sure he understands. I even borrowed his cap because I cannot sleep with the lights on above my head. He lent me his cap selflessly. Still the same old Ryan, I thought, without the mutual feeling though.

In the course of our pep talks, I had to manipulate some of our discussions that I know will bring us to where we were before. Here's a factoid (fact to avoid): he broke up with his girlfriend already. He knew about my status too but I did not bother to bring it up. But he did. We both laughed for a while, but most likely because he thought I committed a more stupid mistake than him. I dismissed the mistake. I treated it like a lesson for me now - never to rush into love. He agreed to what I said, which is odd because we apparently disagree on so many things. It must be another factoid, but I brushed the idea off. In my most courteous way, I told him that I think I need to rest. He obliged.

It was a peaceful trip for me (and I supposed for him too). Beside me, soundly sleeping or half-sleep, is Ryan, who I am at peace with despite the 'past'. We never officially talked about us. It just came to that point when he must have realized that 'friendship' is everything I have to offer. Most of my highschool friends would find this hard to believe because they must have seen the special bond we shared through out the years, and maybe until now. But, yes, we will remain friends as far as I am concerned. (Jhia, claro?)

Funny how fate (if there is such a thing) brought us together like this. I am off to the province for the weekend and we might bump into each other again, I cannot say. Whenever and wherever, I could head-high say that it would no longer be an awkward encounter. We said our byes and I heard him say 'Ingat!' with sincerity, like I gained back the friend he once was to me. And he will still be.

When I Exclaimed OMG

I was overexcited last night that I could only exclaim Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! over and over. Not with the rising price of petroleum, although I am still not over it and the feeling for that is hibernating somewhere in the nook of my heart. I was thrilled over a few interesting things that I saw on TV last night that made me sound like a kolehiyala in an instant.

While my niece was browsing for a good watch on TV and I was reading this LBD book that is like a poo, she spotted Oprah featuring a best-selling novel turned movie entitled "Love in the Time of Cholera" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. (I read one of his books in college. Thanks to Prof. Galan's adoration for him.) Oprah showed the teaser of the movie that I have to put the book I was reading down. It was really an eye catcher (or maybe the narration is). It is a love story of Florentino and Fermina who fell in love with each other after 5 decades of Florentino's waiting. Fermina had a doctor-husband whose death opened the doors for Florentino to woo her again. Florentino, on the other hand, have had several affairs in his efforts to forget about Fermina. Only after 50 years (or so) did they decide to be together, like they were meant to be together after everything that went through their lives. OMG.

(Note: I have not read the book yet. I just based the summary I wrote above from the episode of Oprah. But the book is dead-catching my interest this moment, it can hardly subside. So if anyone would care to sponsor the book for me at PhP245.00 or PhP589.00 -- I'd love to receive the one priced higher. Available in National Bookstore or Powerbooks. Or if I could summon the gods thru my OMGs and let Mhel Tandoc hear this appeal, hahaha, I might fortunately have a copy, hardbound. Mhel, where are you? Teehee.)

*****

Another Oh-My-Godly matter that I am so excited about: The Dark Knight! OMG, I am delirious about this shown on the big screen. Must, must, must see sequel! I have seen Batman movies before and the thrill would not quench at the end of each film. So I WILL SEE THIS MOVIE with or without company. (Ehem, sponsor ulit.) But I know a lot of you blokes would share this same interest with me. Block your calendars now!

And, oh, let's pay Heath Ledger some tribute by watching The Dark Knight onscreen. Bless his soul.

So Bruce Wayne, July 17, it's a date. Here's my card. See you. Hahaha.

*****

Aiza Seguerra won for the second time in the 1-million-peso challenge of The Singing Bee. Oh.My.God. That makes her 2 million pesos ++ richer. I think she deserves it. She has a lovely heart. And though her winning would give her another chance to win more millions, she humbly let go of it to give others the same chance. A champion less the greed. Bow!

*****

OMG for the behavior of James Yap in the last game the other night. A kid in the court! Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

*****

One last thing. This was not shown on TV last night but it's OMG-ly just the same. I wounded myself just this morning. Yeah, my clumsy behavior will kill me. It did not hurt so badly but the bleeding would not stop. Good thing I always have these band-aid strips with me in my wallet so I got to apply first aid on my damaged fingers. See that bloodspot? Hehehe. Tough girl!

An Economist's Rant

I took up Economics in college because I want to appreciate the science and art of it. How? I cannot be too sure. I enjoyed attending my subjects. I learned the kinks and skews of graphs, calculated for the saturation points, analyzed theories (I love the sound of Malthusian), and endlessly crossed my brows over my Econometrics professor whose industry of writing numbers in the whiteboard gives him the liberty to overwrite until you cant identify the figures. Very creative. By the way, I took up the same course because I fantasize landing in a research job after graduation. It did not materialize. So I contented myself blogging instead. Funny though, because I do not blog about the economy or some economic-bound issues affecting the world and more considerably, MOI. I am not exempted from the adverse effects of inflation, peso-dollar exchange, coming in and pulling out of investors, my taxes (the hell!), or simply working my ass everyday (because I am a member of the country's labor force).

*****

Hear ye, hear ye! It was on the news today. Fare hike effective Friday (July 11, 2008 -- a happy birthday present for Mark my colleague, I guess). What with the unstoppable rising price of petroleum, I think I can no longer afford to bear a child (huh?!). I was just thinking how expensive it would be to bear and rear one no matter how I consider it a blessing, really. Or only if I would have Bill Gates and his likes as godfathers of my child.

And what about a wage hike? When will the common tao's pocket thicken a few bills or coins more? How many less can you buy with your grocery budget of PhP500 than before? (to be continued...)

End of June, Start of July

End of June (June 30, that is) I received an email from a colleague with the subject: "Fw: Snooky Serna in love? Hahahaha!" Not another scandalous behavior of celebrities like Snooky, I thought. But wait, the sender included a message saying 'Tin may kaagaw ka na...hehehe! ' and then capping it off with a link of a news article. Ok, so here it is too http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/storypage.aspx?StoryId=123448 . Who must she be referring to? I was intrigued. I checked on the link. Crap. It was Marc ( so I spelled his name right this time) the German! He was being linked to crung-crung (I am so judgemental) Snooky Serna. Hmp! Who cares?! (I can see my ears smoking now. Teehee.) Hindi ko na sya crush. Kasi mahirap ispell ang last name nya - Daubenbuechel. Hay. Turn off. :p Start of July (July 1, for crying out loud) Marc came to the office and I blurted out, "So Marc, you were in the news!" I saw his face flushed scarlet (and he was sooooo cute!!!). He said, "Yeah." I furthered, "So you're a celebrity now, huh?" And he said, "No. I just came to watch her movie. She's very pretty anyway." And he laughed like a kid infatuated with the likes of Pilar Pilapil (murder!). By the way, Marc came to the office to borrow a Nokia phone charger. I so wanna buy a Nokia phone asap. Ms. Ga said that it was my fault my phone is something else but Nokia. Suicide!!! Isn't it nice to have something to open up a conversation with Marc? Ay, di ko na pala sya crush. Well, if I don't remember his last name right, maybe there will be an excuse. End note: Where is Mav? Bakit hindi nag-oonline?

Bloopers At Work

A chat message for Mark (Rivera, not the German) one good afternoon when Sir Dom was in the mood to buy EITSC a half-gallon ice cream:

Tinao (6/4/2008 1:30:17 PM): ice cream for you in the panty Tinao (6/4/2008 1:30:20 PM): pantry Tinao (6/4/2008 1:30:29 PM): *pantry

It was a typographical error, ok? No offense meant. Ice cream in the panty? Ulk.

*****

While taking lunch with Mav ( I miss you!) and Lala and discussing some trivialities such as sports:

Tinao: Hindi ako marunong maglaro ng billboard eh.

Lala: Huh? Ano sabi mo? Ako din hindi.

Mav: (eyes blinking, skeptic whether she heard the right thing)

Sounds like naman, di ba?

*****

An email was circulated by moi to the ECCP secretariat regarding Ms. Ria's farewell party. I was enjoining everyone to be present in the party but my end note of my email said:

Attention is a must.

Very well said. Attendance and attention na lang sana nilagay ko. I was just preoccupied with so many things then. I sent an erratum afterwards. Hahaha.

Here I Come, Pangasinan

I am just so excited to return to Pangasinan! No, let me restate that. I am enormously thrilled that every single cell in my body is aching for bagoong. Fish sauce, guys, that brown thick sauce that smells yumyum to me (I just don't know with you) and not the tiny pink shrimps you call 'bagoong'. It's called alamang or agamang in our native tongue. Now, you know.

I miss home. Really. I miss those times when I do not have to hurry returning to Manila even when I do not necessarily have to. I miss my churchmates who would come up with an activity when I'm just there -- vigil, block rosary, carolling, YE seminar, outing, camping, lawn tennis (I just watch) or plainly hanging around the parish office to catch up with the old times (not that we're old though, we just have something to catch up with).

I miss eating with my Papa and Mama even when there is just the three of us. Thinking back, I really had not the chance to open up a conversation about what I was up to lately. Often, I would eat silently, careful not to spill a thing about an unofficial relationship to my Pop and spoil the meal. (Heheheh) I miss my cousins who I know have loads of tales to share to me but they hesitate to because I would rather dwell inside my room than mingle. For so long a time, I missed them a lot. I wasted a lot. There is no way I am going to let another opportunity pass to rekindle what I missed or lost. Uh-uh. Not this time. I'm going to have fun, fun, fun with them this weekend.

The hibernation is over. Tinao (and not McArthur) is returning!

*****

Itinerary for the weekend.

June 27, 6:00 pm Leave for Pangasinan

June 28, 9:00 am Wedding at St. Andrew's Parish, Bugallon (The Prayer na naman ba?)

June 28, 2:30 pm Wedding at Our Lady of Lourdes Parish, Salasa (Two Words by Lea Salonga ha?)

June 28, 4:00 pm Bonding with Bebi Normz (Naglalambing ang bata, miss na daw ang ate. Sige na.)

June 28, 7:00 pm Night Swimming daw sa Covelandia (Mga PYM members, paramdam kayo!)

June 29, 6:00 am First Mass (Kahit di sabihin ni Father Boc)

June 29, 8:00 am Second Mass

June 29, 11:00 am Visit old granny in Baay (Awwww... tagal ko na sya di nakikita!)

June 29, 2:00 pm Visit HS classmates in Lingayen (Theresa, Maricar, Leah pakihanda ang rolls of tissue paper)

June 29, 6:00 pm Dinner at home (Gusto ko po ng gulay)

June 30, 3:00 am Back to Makati City

Fun!

*****

Is this fun?

I love this shot of Gorio, Father Boc's assistant slash alaga. He must be so tired assisting Father in one of the services they came from that he contented himself with a break such as this. I'm sorry to catch you in this shape Gorio. Ate Tinao will print this for you as a souvenir. Hehehe.

When Asthma Attacks

A dose of Ventolin does not keep the doctor away, neither asthma and betrayal (oh, forget about it). Hindi na yata tumatalab ang gamot sa akin. Kulang na lang pati ang pinagbalatan ko ng tableta eh lunukin ko na rin matigil lang ang paghihingalo ko at pag-ubo. Burnt out na naman ako. Madalas kasi, sa asthma ko sinusukat yung stress level ko. Matagal-tagal na rin kasi na hindi ako sinusumpong ng asthma. Well, muntik na. Kung hindi pa nahulaan ni Ms. Ria na may asthma ako at maninigarilyo sana sya ng isang pakete (exag ako noh?) sa loob ng sasakyan nya (na nakabukas naman ang bintana) habang nakasakay ako sa kotse nya. Nitong huli, halu-halong dahilan ang nagtrigger sa pagsumpong ng asthma ko. Kumbaga sa cause of death, kumplikasyon. Andyan na yung pagod sa paglipat-lipat ng computer tables, sa pagpapakain at pag-aasikaso sa Pointwest trainees (ok lang, well-compensated naman with the likes of Thad), ang pag-uwi ng isang sakong Sinandomeng na bigas ko, ang paghihintay sa taxi nang pagkatagal-tagal, ang mausok na Gil Puyat Avenue, ang pagpapawis ng likod ko at ang pagkakatuyo rin nito sa likod ko, ang paninigarilyo ng Kuya ko, at ang desisyong mag-spend ng weekend sa QC (kasi ayon sa pinsan ko, mas polluted ang environment dun). Sayang, sinumpong pa talaga ako. Hindi ko tuloy naenjoy ang ulan sa maghapon. Hindi ko tuloy matagalan ang manood ng DVD dahil watery yung eyes ko. Hindi tuloy ako nakalabas at nakabili ng white long sleeves ko. Andami ko sana nagawa buong weekend pero tulog lang ang inatupag ko, nagbabakasakaling paggising ko, hindi na ako naghihingalo.

*****

Nagsimula ang lahat isang Byernes ng hapon noong high school ako. PE day ang Byernes sa LEC. Volleyball ang lesson (nakashorts pa ako nun ng black). Hindi pa natatapos ang game, nakaramdam na ako ng pagod. Ni hindi pa nga dumadapo yung bola sa mga kamay ko maliban sa tira ko o serve na 'di na rin naulit (bano!). Magaling kasi ako umiwas sa bola. Nakatayo lang ako sa court, patakbo-takbo, kunwa'y tatangkaing tamaan at ibalik sa kalaban ang bola pero aagawan lang ako ng kasama ko kahit na isigaw ko ang "Mine!" Nagpa-substitute na ako. Kinakapos na ako ng hininga. Pag-upo ko sa bangko (where I belong) eh parang umiikot na nang literal ang mundo ko. Mabilis. At parang kumikitid. Namumutla na pala ako. Abot-abot ang paghinga ko. Akala ko joke lang ang lahat. Seryoso pala na nangyayari yun. Pero nakasurvive ako. Buti na lang wala akong nakitang light at the end of the tunnel.

Kinahapunan nun, pagkatapos ng klase, sinundo ako ng Mama ko. (Sino kaya nagsumbong? Dyahe, sinusundo pa ako eh ok naman na ako.) Dumerecho kami sa Dagupan para mapacheck-up ako. Patpatin at gusgusin, kulang na lang talaga ilabel yung noo ko na "malnourished". Ang daming tanong. Kelan ako huling niregla? Regular ba? (First time ko maencounter yung mga ganitong tanong, promise) May history ba ng hypertension? Ng TB? At kung anu-ano pa. Lahat yun, Mama ko ang sumagot. (Sya ba ang maysakit?) Well, it boiled down into a thing: ASTHMA. Di ko alam paano nalaman ng duktor yun. Flinashlight nya lang yung loob ng bunganga ko, alam na nya?! Amazing! Allergic daw ako sa usok ng sigarilyo at pati alikabok. So that will oblige me to clean my room more often. Pambihira talaga.

May prescription agad. Nebulizer. Nakakaloka. Pero maige na rin kesa ang painumin ako ng pinagpakuluan ng butiki o ang paglanguyin ako sa dagat. Effort.

Rainy Days and Mondays

It is a rainy Monday morning. And thank God for storm Frank (yeah, I'm considering it a blessing in disguise). The traffic is so smooth. Students are not around to vie with you for space in PUVs. Bwahaha. Waging-wagi! Traces of Frank in Makati are everywhere. Fallen leaves and damp streets. The bamboo trees infront of The Columns originally implanted in there for aesthetic purposes yielded to Frank's winds. I saw one security guard taking photos of the bamboos (sosyal!) -- for postcard maybe. ;) Rains give me that euphoric mood. Rains bring back my delightful childhood memories. Rains remind me of the Cali Shandy commercial.

******

I owe my friends birthday greetings:

June 22 - Maricar Ramos, June (of IIEE-CSC)

June 23 - Mitch (of UST-AB Economics 03), Xian (of UST-AB Economics 03)

Just congratulations to my former classmate slash guy pal slash adviser slash brother slash constant chatmate slash provincemate slash so on Junlee Cacapit for finally receiving his visa for London. Taray!

******

My sincerest condolences to Ervi Rodriguez (of UST-AB Legal Management 01 and Our Lady of Lourdes Youth Ministry) for the death of his father.

*****

And I want to repost this read from my friend Jeff's Multiply site just so I could paint a smile in your face. (http://jeffreysarm.multiply.com/journal/item/19/Movies)

1. Black hawk down - Ibong maitim sa ibaba

2. Dead man's chest - Dede ng patay

3. I know what you did last summer - Uyy... aminin!

4. Love, actually - Sa totoo lang, pag-ibig

5. Million dollar baby - 40 million pisong sanggol (it depends on the exchange rate of the country)

6. The blair witch project - Ang proyekto ng bruhang si blair

7. Mary poppins - Si mariang may putok

8. Snakes on a plane - Nag-ahasan sa ere

9. The postman always rings twice - Ang kartero kapag dumutdot laging dalawang beses

10. Sum of all fears - Takot mo, takot ko, takot nating lahat

11. Swordfish - Talakitok

12. Pretty woman - Ganda ng lola mo

13. Robin hood, men in tights - Si robin hood at ang mga felix bakat

14. 4 weddings & a funeral - Kahit 4 na beses ka pang magpakasal, mamamatay ka rin

15. The good, the bad and the ugly - Ako, ikaw, kayong lahat (Hahaha!)

16. Harry potter and the sorcerer's stone - Adik si harry, tumira ng shabu

17. Click - Isang pindot ka lang

18. Brokeback mountain - May nawasak sa likod ng bundok ng tralala /bumigay sa bundok

19. Waterworld - Basang-basa

20. There's something about mary - May kwan sa ano ni maria

21. Employee of the month - Ang sipsip

22. Resident evil - Ang biyenan

23. Kill bill - Kilitiin sa bilbil

24. The grudge - Lintik lang ang walang ganti

25. Nightmare before christmas - Binangungot sa noche buena

26. Annie hall - Ang butas ni annie

27. Never been kissed - Pangit kasi (Hahaha talaga!)

28. Gone in 60 seconds - 1 round, tulog

29. The fast and the furious - Ang bitin, galit

30. Too fast, too furious - Kapag sobrang bitin, sobrang galit

31. Dude, where's my car - Dong, anong level ulit tayo nag-park?

32. Beauty and the beast - Ang asawa ko at ang nanay nya (Hahaha ulit!)

33. The lord of the rings - Ang alahero

*****

The day has not ended yet and I'm still getting a load of surprises. Haha!

On my way to the elevator at 12:35 p.m. to buy myself a cup of rice for lunch (yes guys, I took my lunch that late), I saw Mark the G. (the German!) waiting for the lift at the elevator lobby. Is this some kind of a joke? (Nah, coincidence lang) I sashayed to join him wait for the elevator. And since I think the situation called for emergency, I naturally combed my hair with my fingers to fix it in place. Ooops, blouse, check. Pants, check. Shoes, check. Perfume, uh-oh, I do not wear perfume. I sure hope he won't necessarily sniff like a dog. If he does, he has to bear with my sweat, este sweet smell.

We were the sole couple, I mean we were the only two people (that makes a couple, doesn't it?) there. When the elevator door opened, he held the door for me and motioned me to enter the elevator ahead. Classic gentleman, is he? And what? Is this called my lucky day? We were the only people inside! Where is everybody? As in nada, zero. Only me and him. But he was busy reading that trash he's holding to notice me. :( I only got to relish the moment with him inside the elevator for 5 seconds or so. When we stopped at the 18th floor, two girls entered and helped themselves fill in the space that separates me and Mark the G. I want to get hold of a wand and shout "Patronus!" there and then. Hahaha.

When finally the elevator landed at the Ground Floor, I eased myself out instantly to forget about fancying him. I headed to the jolly jeeps to buy rice for myself but since it was nearing 1:00 p.m., I get to see the vendors cleaning up the empty trays. In short, wala ng rice! I proceeded to the canteen instead while chanting, God, help! I'm starving. He heard my prayer -- and still with a bonus. Mark the G. was heading to a table all by himself. I ordered a cup of rice while my peepers are focused somewhere else. A naughty idea came to me. What if I join him for lunch? Will I get rejected? Well, what if's will stay what if's unless done. So I only frustrated myself. I remember that commercial with the cliche, "Is this seat taken?"

I left the canteen blowing him my sweetest gaze with batting eyelashes. Only that, he does not know.

*****

Have a nice week ahead!

Ang Liham ni Mav (a.k.a. Mab)

Isang ping (bago ang liham) ang aking natanggap mula kay Marivie Duran, ang aking dating kaopisina dito sa EITSC, kasundo, kaututang isip, kakulitan, kakiligan, kakambal, kalokohan (hehehehe). Sabi nya mayroon daw syang isinulat na liham para sa akin. At dahil hindi na uso ang snail mail at marahil ay masyadong techie itong si Mav, ay sa blog nya ito isinulat. Note: Pasensya Mav, dahil blog ko ito, may mga kailangang akong i-omit. Ahahaha. Masyadong vulgar. Hindi ko na rin ilalagay 'yung reference site ng blog mo. Ayoko nga! Narito ang liham na nilagdaan ni Mav (a.k.a. Mab para hindi na masyadong mahirap pakinggan at bigkasin):

Dear Tina-pay,

Ilang buwan na din tayong magkakilala at masasabing kong isa kang matibay na nilalang. Malakas ang loob mo, hindi ka natatakot sumubok ng mga bagay-bagay. Hindi ka natakot magmahal. Saludo ako sayo.

Kung mayroon man akong 'twin sister' sigurado akong ikaw yun. Hindi ko din alam kung bakit nagkakasundo tayo, hindi ko din alam kung bakit magaan ang loob ko sayo.

Hindi kasalanan ang magmahal. Kung hindi man naging maganda ang kinalabasan ng pagmamahal na iyon, eh ano?! Okay lang yun. At least ibinigay mo ang lahat ng makakaya mo at hindi ka natakot magmahal. Kung hindi man niya iyon nasuklian ng ayon sa gusto mo, hindi mo na kasalanan yun.

Huwag mong isipin na wala kang silbi dahil hindi iyon totoo. Kailan man hindi iyon magiging totoo.

"Its not the failures that matters, its what you have learned."

Subukan mo ulit. Walang pumipigil sa iyo. Wala din namang nagmamadali sa iyo.

Hindi nasusukat sa tagal ng pagsasama ang pagmamahal sa isang tao. Hindi rin ito nasusukat sa mga hirap at saya na pinagdaanan nyo. Madalas walang sukatan ang pagmamahal.

Malinis ang iyong kalooban, makakatagpo ka din ng para sa iyo. Subukan mo ulet. Subukan mo ulet mag&^$# sa * o kaya ang *... hindi ko na lang sasabihin kasi alam mo na iyon :).

Kung gusto mo siya walang problema dun at kung kailangan mo ako, alam mo kung ano ang kaya ko hahaha :). Pero alam mo naman kung ano ang kumento ko ukol sa kanya, pagisipan mo :).

You are loved. You are always loved. By me.

Nagmamahal,

Mav

* *toot* boopboopbaby:)

Thank you Mav. Thank you dahil kahit alam kong nabobore ka at walang magawa sa trabaho mo ay nag-exert ka ng effort (brain bleed) para sa liham na ito. Nangingilid na ang luha ko. Ang babaw ko talaga. Nega and drama queen na ako.

Gagawa din ako ng reply letter ko. Antayin mo lang. May training pa kami. Hahaha.

LTO = LITO less "I"

Not another phone conversation to start my blog with. Argh! But this really happened. And I want to narrate it exactly the way I could recount it. Kriiing. Kriiiingg. Past one in the afternoon and I am throwing my usual phone spiel again with my usual pleasant voice (ehem!). But I have this funny feeling I know who my caller might be. A gift of ESP! The voice from the other side was muttering my name like he was reading from my birth certificate. I asked who he was. He declared who he is. My eyes bulged and spelled D.I.S.A.S.T.E.R. Instantly, I was telling my friend over YM that I'm speaking to the person I dreaded speaking to. I could barely hear the caller's words. He has to repeat what he was saying if he has to juice out something from me. I was only trying to imply I was not really interested. I just do not know how to do it the subtle way. Chocolates? Pasalubongs? In my most composed and courteous tone, I said, "'Wag na ho kayong mag-abala."

He must have noticed I was being inadequate with my answers. He prompted, "O sige, baka nakakaistorbo na ako sa'yo." To cut the call short, I uttered, "Sige po." I was not at all surprised when he furthered, "Ano oras ka lumalabas?" To which I said, "6:30 pm" My mind was imploring for help. Stalker! Stalker! He hang up, leaving me bewildered. Somebody shoot me, please. It's the kindest way. I wanna resign. ;-)

*****

As to how, why, when, who and where the above story transpired, I need not delve into details. Let's just say, it was a very uncalled for circumstance that lead me to meeting him in the most unexpected place and time, I did not have time to think. Or was I really thinking then? It was not really a smart move. (Dumb-me-dumb-me-dumb-me-dumb-me. Talk like a man. Act like a man. Dumb-me-dumb-me-dumb-me. *Own lyrics) This is what I get when I offer even the tiniest gesture of kindness I could. Napasobra ata. I am very generous! That's one thing certain.

*****

I'm buying a new, tinier umbrella next payday.

*****

Meanwhile, you may say this short prayer: "Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be." Amen.

Blog Makeover

Hmmm, I noticed something about myself lately. I am addicted to blogging! I have maintained this blog since 2004 but I only get to blog regularly this year. It must be something really nice to be proud of. My mind has gone sloppy for quite some time that I'm running out of words to say -- more definite words to describe how I feel and what I want to tell the world. So, instead of nourishing this site with words filthy spoken (read: &%^$#@!) because I'm feeling like i wanna lash, I just decided to do a blog makeover. Para maiba naman. Voila! I love the new look of my blog. It is wider. It is much better. It can accommodate more of my blasting ideas and emotions. Way to go! A blessed week everyone! God has something in store for us everyday. Fill your hearts with excitement to discover each one.

Way to Recovery

Umagang-umaga, nagboblog na naman ako. Ok lang. Wala pa namang 8:00 am eh. Di ko alam kung bakit pero after what seemed to be endless excruciating moments over something I should not have wasted time in, eh I feel so light and up again. God must have taken charge over my life now. He truly must be. Paglapag ko pa lang ng bag ko sa chair ko, on agad ang notebook at ang water dispenser para sa hot water ko. Parang nasa bahay lang ba? Hubad ng sapatos at sabay saksak sa paa ng pair of sheep-ish bed slippers ni Ms. Ria (na iniwan sa office kay Ms. Rina na syang tunay na nagmamay-ari nito). Lambot sa paa. Gusto kong sumayaw. Wala pang tao sa office eh. Kung kelan naman gusto ko ng partner para mag-sway-sway sa pinapatugtog kong Michael Buble songs eh saka naman hindi nagpapakita yung mumu sa ECCP office (ok, i take that back. Takot ako sa mumu eh.) Timpla na ako ng Milo drink ko, for energy daw. (Nadaan na naman ako sa ads.) Pagewang-gewang ako sa tugtugin habang iniikot ang kutsarita sa cup of chocolate drink ko. Feeling ko para akong kutsaritang sumasayaw nung makita ko ang reflection ko sa window. Hmmmm... payat ko na ah! Ok lang yun. Papagarage sale ako ng mga damit na pinagpayatan ko. Hahahaha. Ibang songs naman. Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Nora Jones. Humahampas yung mga balikat ko sa tempo ng song. Para akong si Maja Salvador. Hahaha. Sa ganda at payat ko ngayon, di na ako nalalayo sa kanya(in my dreams). Anyway, I still think Nora Jones and Michael Buble sound good together. I mean, they can make a good couple singing forever. Di ba? Madalas kasi pinagbabasehan ng tao ang looks, hence the phrase they look good together. Para maiba naman, wag na lang tignan sa mukha, sa boses na lang. They sound good together. O di ba? Tignan mo si Rachel Ann at Christian Bautista. I do not think they sound good together, kaya ayun, naghiwalay sila. Pokwang and Christian siguro, pwede pa. Eh bakit way to recovery? Kasi nga, I'm singing again like I own the voice of God. I'm dancing again like there's no one watching. Cool yun. Being yourself, your happy true self. So fully recovered na ako? I'm getting there! Yuhooooo....

*****

To my ever-loyal pianist (ayoko sabihin organist or keyboard artist. Promise, ang sagwa pakinggan.), Mac. Salamat sa pagtitiyaga sa pagtugtog mo ng mga piyesang pinili ko para sa Kanya. Sa pilit na pag-abot ng key mo at in the end eh ako pa rin ang nasusunod, salamat. Nagttranspose ka rin sa key ko. Ahahaha. Salamat sa gift of music which we both share. Maswerte akong nakatagpo ng kaibigang tulad mo na sa low points ng buhay ko eh instrumental lang ng theme song ng Lovingly Yours, Helen ang ipinangtatapat mo para bumagsak mga luha ko. Salamat, Mac. Hindi lang pinsan ang turing ko sa'yo. Bestfriend and church bandmate pa. Sa susunod na pag-uwi ko, God of Silence naman kakantahin ko. Ayan, umiiyak na naman ako.

Top 5 Hirit Lines sa Loob ng MRT

Independence Day ngayon. 110th, to be exact. Ayon sa aking pamangkin na nag-aaral sa UST, may libreng sakay daw ang mga LRT commuter mula 7:00 n.u. hanggang 9:00 n.u. Nanghihinayang sya sa hindi nya pagkakalibre ng sakay sa LRT dahil mas maaga pa sa 7:00 n.u. kung sya ay nakakasakay ng tren. Magpasalamat na lang sya, ikako, dahil malamang sa hindi, gahibla na lang ang layo nya sa makakasakayan nya sa mga oras na yun na pagsakay nya ng LRT sa SOBRANG siksikan.

*****

Matagal ko na sana itong nailathala -- ang patungkol sa Hirit Lines sa loob ng MRT, nawawaglit lang talaga sa abalang isipan ko (talaga lang ha!?).

Isa akong proud MRT commuter. Sa umaga, mula Quezon Avenue Station (noon yun) hanggang Buendia Station, hindi ko alintana kung tumayo ako habang nakahawak sa hawakan o railing ng tren. Kapag sumusuray ang tren, nakikisuray ka rin. 'Pag pumreno, mapapaurong ka rin. (Law of Inertia yata tawag dun.)

'Di bale nang nakatayo at nakikipagsiksikan, 'wag lang ang mahuli sa pagpasok sa opisina. 'Di bale nang mangawit sa mahigpit na pagkakahawak sa hawakan ng tren, 'wag lang mangamoy usok at pawis at magmukhang taong grasa pagharap mo sa salamin sa CR ng office. Iyan ang MRT -- mas mainam na solusyon-biyahe sa mga taong ayaw matraffic at magmukhang harassed pagdating sa office. Iyan din ang MRT -- ang mahiwagang sasakyan kung saan nagiging amasona ang mga babae at nagiging mapagpigil sa pakikipagsuntukan ang mga lalaki (wala silang choice, no space for duel eh.) Ang MRT -- ang lugar kung saan if looks could kill eh matagal nang naging haunted train sa dami ng gustong makipagpatayan makasakay lang.

*****

Eto pa lamang ang aking natatala sa aking Top 5 Hirit Lines sa Loob ng MRT (mapa-coach man ng babae o lalaki) as of June 12, 2008:

1. Aray ko! ARAY KO! Sadyang naka-all caps 'yung pangalawang ARAY KO! Minsan kasi, sa unang aray ng isang MRT commuter na naiipit, natutulak o nabubunggo eh ded-ma ang nang-iipit, nanunulak o nambubunggo. Kailangan pang lakasan at lagyan ng stress sa pamamagitan ng pag-uulit ng sinasabi mo para maiabot ang mensahe mo sa mga sadya o 'di sinasadyang nanakit. Strategy din yan para mabigyan ka ng space.


2. 'Wag naman kayo manulak! Pansinin na ang pagkakasabi ng karamihan sa MRT commuters ay addressed sa subject in plural form. Sa pagkakasakay mo kasi sa MRT, ang nanunulak sa 'yo ay tinutulak ng nanunulak sa nanunulak sa nanunulak sa likod mo. (Whew!) Kaya kapag humirit ka ng ganyan, addressed to the public 'ika nga. Tamaan na ang guilty!


3. Ano pa problema mo? Iyan ang matapang at mataray na sagot ng mga guilty sa pagtulak, pang-iipit o pambubunggo ng kapwa MRT commuter. Palibhasa, hindi pwedeng hindi makaganti sa pagkakapahiya o pamimintang sa kanila, yan ang matinding counterattack nila. Minsan din, ginagamit ito pangdepensa sa mga sumisimple sa pagtulak, pag-ipit o pagbunggo para masindak sila sa katarayan mo.


4. Kita na lang tayo sa ------ station! Ito ang bungad ng mga magkakasamang commuters (magsyota, mag-ina, mag-ama, mag-asawa, magkapatid, magbarkada, magkaribal, magkapitbahay, magkabit, etc.) sa isa't-isa kapag napaghihiwalay sa pagsara ng pintuan ng MRT. Iisang paroroonan pero magkaiba ng nasakyang coach ng tren. Ang isa, nadadala sa agos ng heavy commuters at ang isa naman, napag-iwanan dahil sa.... ano nga ba...uhmmm, katangahan na lang siguro.


5. Wow! Macau! Self-explanatory. Paid voice advertisement ito ng Chowking na sobrang dry. Akala ko kasi nung una ad sya ng Magic Sing. Alam mo yun, yung Wow Magic Sing. Hay ewan ko ba. You should hire me! Hehehe.

Hayan na ang aking listahan. Marami pa sana pero iyan lamang ang mga pumatok sa pagmamasid ko (na pati pagdadasal ko ng rosaryo ko eh 'di ko natatapos dahil sa aking pagmamasid at pag-uusisa).

*****

Madalang na ako maging MRT commuter ngayon. Hindi, wala pa akong kotse at wala pa ring naghahatid sa aking may sasakyan. Hindi rin, wala ako pambayad sa cab araw-araw. Sikretong malupit na lang kung bakit. :P

*****

Lady Voice Over: Buendia Station, Buendia Station. Kindly exit the train on the left side. Maari lamang pong lumabas sa kaliwang pinto. Maraming salamat po. (Wala lang ito. Natuwa ako sa bagong ininstall na voice prompt sa MRT kahit mali-mali sya ng pagbanggit sa kung saan istasyon ka na nga ba. Mabuti na yun kesa yung dating MRT driver slash announcer na sa umaga ay garalgal pa ang boses na parang 'di pa nagmumumog. Hah!)